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| Author | Vanoord's a Joke |
sinker Joined: 13/12/2010 Location: North Wales. View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 11/04/2019 12:58:08 Reply | Quote I have finally quit my job at the can-crushing plant. I couldn't stand to work there any longer. It was soda pressing. -- Ah, well, now, you see.... IP: 82.132.247.141 |
Llion Joined: 03/08/2006 Location: Ffestiniog/Mochdre View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 16/04/2019 08:36:37 Reply | Quote Be ti'n galw Jac Codi Baw cyfeillgar ? Jac Codi Llaw  -- Me... Back n Boogying ag wrth n modd IP: 2.103.73.204 |
JohnnearCfon Joined: 22/12/2005 Location: Sir Caernarfon View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 16/04/2019 21:08:58 Reply | Quote Google "Translate" made a total pigs ear of that!! IP: 86.161.126.84 |
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skimble Joined: 23/06/2008 Location: Gwynedd View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 16/04/2019 21:36:29 Reply | Quote JohnnearCfon wrote: Google "Translate" made a total pigs ear of that!! I see what you mean.  Jac Codi Baw = JCB IP: 82.71.4.122 |
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sinker Joined: 13/12/2010 Location: North Wales. View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 17/04/2019 10:58:28 Reply | Quote "Gyfeillgar" = 'Friendly' "Codi llaw"; literal translation 'lifting a hand'; "codi llaw" is a colloquial Welsh term for waving, whilst passing in a car or across the street. Or from the snug to the saloon bar  But never from a conformist church to a Congregationalist chapel Wars have started over less.-- Yma O Hyd.... ta-ta ty hâ... IP: 82.132.246.235 |
ttxela Joined: 04/09/2007 Location: Cambs View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 31/07/2019 08:44:33 Reply | Quote Made myself unpopular at home last night. Youngest daughter came round for a some advice, she is considering a change of career but is unsure which direction to take. She currently works in a care home for the elderly. She said she enjoys taking care of people but she finds it difficult being so close to them when they die. With this criteria in mind I suggested she might consider becoming a sniper....... IP: 195.171.131.2 |
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sinker Joined: 13/12/2010 Location: North Wales. View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 31/07/2019 09:19:16 Reply | Quote A wealthy 60 year guy old is getting married to a young woman of 23. At the wedding, a friend asks him "Apart from your obvious wealth, how did you persuade such a young woman to give up the best years of her life tending to a 60 year old man?" "Simple. I lied about my age." "Oh right. How old young did you tell her you are?" "I told her I was 89  "-- Yma O Hyd.... ta-ta ty hâ... IP: 88.97.24.95 Edited: 31/07/2019 09:19:55 by sinker |
Mr.C Joined: 23/03/2008 Location: North Staffordshire View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 17/12/2019 10:49:11 Reply | Quote A Husband and Wife are Christmas Shopping at a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on his mobile The wife said "Where are you, you know we have lots to do." He said "Do you remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?" Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up … "Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied. "Well I am in the model shop next door to that." (Shamelessly nicked from ham radio forum.) -- We inhabit an island made of coal, surrounded by a sea full of fish. How can we go wrong....... IP: 95.145.205.129 Edited: 17/12/2019 10:52:53 by Mr.C |
Digit Joined: 29/07/2009 Location: North Wales View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 10/04/2020 12:56:19 Reply | Quote Border force have just seized two tons of toilet rolls hidden in cocaine. -- |
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Hattlebags Joined: 19/01/2014 Location: The Lake District View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 11/04/2020 08:16:36 Reply | Quote It is with great sadness that I have to mention the loss of a few local businesses around our Town. The bra manufacturer has gone bust, the Fish Shop has Floundered, The Office Supplies Company has gone in to Administration, the Prosthetics company has lost an Arm and a Leg, the Book Binders have gone in to Chapter 11, the flannel company has thrown in the towel, the swimwear company has gone under, the manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation, the Herb Shop have had the Bay Leafs in, a Dog Kennel has had to call in the Retrievers, the local newspaper has folded, the Heinz factory has been canned as they couldn't ketchup with orders, the Glue Manufacturer has become Insolvent, the Paint Shop is in the Red, the tarmac laying company has reached the end of the road, the Gift Wrap Company has entered in to a Pre Pack, the bread company has run out of dough, the clock manufacturer has had to wind down, the Take Away has been taken away, the shoe shop has had to put his foot down and given his staff the boot, the Record Shop has run out of Johnny Cash, the Undertakers have faced stiff competition, lost the plot and have gone under, the Fishmonger has taken a battering and his son's plumbing business has gone down the pan, the Sign company didn't see the writing on the wall, the coffee shop seems to have closed for no grounds at all, the electricians have just pulled the plug, the Fruit shop has gone pear shaped, the Trampoline Company has been bouncing cheques, the Ice Sculpturing business has had to liquidate their stock, the builders have gone to the wall, the Backstroke Swimming Team have gone Belly Up, the lift makers have closed their doors for the final time, the watchmaker has received a winding up order, the Nail factory has knocked it on the head, the Torpedo Manufacturer has gone down the Tubes, the Auctioneers have lost the lot, the Diving Board Company has flopped, and finally the laundrette has been taken to the cleaners! IP: 86.189.191.240 |
dwarrowdelf Joined: 09/02/2011 Location: Lost in Cwmorthin...and Oakeley too !! View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 11/04/2020 18:22:07 Reply | Quote You need to be careful, people are going crazy about being in lockdown. I’ve actually just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and all of us agreed things are getting worse. I didn’t mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on things and certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. I did discuss it with the vacuum cleaner and he said the whole thing sucks. Meanwhile, the blender has mixed feelings and the taps kept running hot and cold about the idea. The whisk refused to talk about it because she didn’t want to whip things into a frenzy and the eggs kept quiet because they didn’t want to get a beating. I didn’t check with the oven because she’s far too hot-headed. The bin just spouted a whole lot of rubbish about the situation and the freezer just gave me a frosty reception. In the end, the iron calmed me down. She said everything will be fine. No situation is too pressing. The tin at the back of the cupboard with no label on thinks it’s a total mystery. The knife made some very cutting remarks and the squash was very cordial about it all. Unlike the lemon who was very bitter about it. Oh well..... ! -- 'I wonder how many breakfasts, and other meals we have missed inside that nasty clockless, timeless hole?' 'The Hobbit' J R R Tolkien. IP: 94.7.22.203 |
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Digit Joined: 29/07/2009 Location: North Wales View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 24/04/2020 01:02:53 Reply | Quote Government Accidentally Shuts Itself Down with Ban On Non-Essential Businesses -- |
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JohnnearCfon Joined: 22/12/2005 Location: Sir Caernarfon View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 24/04/2020 20:48:10 Reply | Quote Donald Trump!! IP: 86.160.24.145 |
Roy Morton Joined: 09/10/2007 Location: Redruth Cornwall View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 07/05/2020 17:01:26 Reply | Quote The Charles Dickens novel A Tale of Two Cities, was Inspired by the titles of two newspapers. It was the Bicester Times and it was the Worcester Times. -- "You Chinese think of everything!" "But I''m not Chinese!" "Then you must have forgotten something!" IP: 109.153.175.55 Edited: 07/05/2020 17:02:35 by Roy Morton |
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euros Joined: 25/08/2009 Location: CELLAN View Profile View Posts View Personal Album View Personal Files View all Photos Send Private Message |
Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 18/09/2020 22:19:28 Reply | Quote We ordered a Chinese takeaway from a local place (we won't name them) we went to pick it up and as we were driving home, we heard the bags rustling and moving!!! We thought what in the world is that? Has something got in the bag? We thought we could see a little pair of eyes peering out I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers, I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ... And there it was ... ... A PEEKING DUCK IP: 5.80.94.38 |
