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Mine Exploration Forum

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Author Vanoord's a Joke
Roy Morton

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Joined: 09/10/2007
Location: Redruth Cornwall

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 02:00:42
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Addiction?

Sounds like me, but I can stop whenever I like.....Honest!

--

'Bid me discourse, I will enchant thine ear'
IP: 109.156.226.5 Edited: 28/08/2013 02:03:36 by Roy Morton
Roy Morton

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Joined: 09/10/2007
Location: Redruth Cornwall

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 02:43:10
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Mine / Cave explorers Glossary.

Rack - Found on the way to ruin

Alpine Hitch - Technique employed when caving in the Pyrenese and some local chav nicks your car.

Butterfly knot - A moth (think about it)

Cowstails - What you have to endure from some drunken old bird in the pub who's taken a fancy to you.

Carabiner - Dyslexic Spanish policeman

Any further contributions?




--

'Bid me discourse, I will enchant thine ear'
IP: 109.156.226.5
Yorkshireman

Joined: 23/06/2011
Location: Hanover, Germany

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 08:34:15
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Ladder - someone who chats up blokes!

D.
IP: 93.199.23.16
crickleymal

Joined: 12/03/2009
Location: Gloucester

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 08:46:25
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Headlamp. A blow above the neck. IP: 194.176.105.142
Yorkshireman

Joined: 23/06/2011
Location: Hanover, Germany

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 09:07:34
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Blind shaft - sex in the dark
Brake bar - nutritious snack for a pause underground
Dark adapation - turning your helmet light on
Free pitch - when the cricketers have gone home
Relative humidity - sweaty cousin
Jumar - Yiddish mother
Leader - German miners’ songs
Liquid medium - reasonably hot tea

LOVE THIS ONE - IT'S REAL
MUD PENDULITE A pendulite with the knob coated in mud.

Overhang - the opposite of a hangover
Percolation water - essential for making coffee
Projected section - the audio-visual part of a talk on caving
Seepage water - refer to the chapter on water
Sinkhole - essential part of a fitted kitchen
Stalagmite - former German POW camp
True north - Yorkshire
Tuff - difficult pitch
Wire ladder - someone who chats up blokes on the phone
IP: 93.199.23.16
lipsi

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Joined: 20/04/2008
Location: Worcester, England

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 09:27:05
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SRT. What a woman has when she's feeling ropey.

--

Where there's a mine or a hole in the ground. That's where I'm heading for that's where I'm bound So follow me down Cousin Jack (Grateful thanks to Show of Hands)
IP: 86.169.170.189
Yorkshireman

Joined: 23/06/2011
Location: Hanover, Germany

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 09:31:08
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Redefinition of Stalagmite

Small insect causing severe itching in German POW camps
IP: 93.199.23.16
crickleymal

Joined: 12/03/2009
Location: Gloucester

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 11:51:44
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Air pocket - someone who never buys a round

Bedding Plane - joining the mile high club

Fissure - Midge's less well known brother

Halite - someone who's breath isn't too objectionable
IP: 194.176.105.142
lozz

Joined: 03/08/2012
Location: Cornwall

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 14:20:39
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Downdraft, result of an updraft.
Updraft, result of a downdraft.

Downdraft, Friday night out.
Updraft, normally all over by Sunday dinner.

Lozz.
IP: 81.151.11.71
lipsi

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Joined: 20/04/2008
Location: Worcester, England

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 14:35:36
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Block and tackle - a particularly painful form of vasectomy

--

Where there's a mine or a hole in the ground. That's where I'm heading for that's where I'm bound So follow me down Cousin Jack (Grateful thanks to Show of Hands)
IP: 86.169.170.189
lozz

Joined: 03/08/2012
Location: Cornwall

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 14:44:08
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Shovel: Mexican drag line.

Drag line: Hi sweety.

Raise: Yes please.

Veritical shaft: Yes, Yes.

Inclined Shaft: Just blown yer beans.

Lozz.
IP: 81.151.11.71
davel

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Joined: 24/07/2007
Location: Gwynedd

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 14:44:58
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belay - the cause of more bees

duck - swims and goes quack

flats - cheap accommodation for underground explorers

mine - not yours

P-anchor - something to hold onto when relieving one's bladder

sediment - explanation of an utterance by a third party

tackle bag - a small pair of underpants
IP: 195.137.87.110
Willy Eckerslyke

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Joined: 03/11/2011
Location: Anglesey

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 15:05:00
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whinze - reaction to most of above IP: 147.143.161.104
exspelio

Joined: 02/05/2012
Location: peak district

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 15:59:46
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Adit; Aven't got it anymore.

--

Always remember, nature is in charge, get it wrong and it is you who suffers!.
IP: 86.170.144.30
lozz

Joined: 03/08/2012
Location: Cornwall

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 28/08/2013 16:27:42
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Grizzly Bars: More than one person.

Lozz.
IP: 81.151.11.71
Monty Stubble

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Joined: 03/04/2008
Location: , Location, Location

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 31/08/2013 12:00:31
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Tyrolean - A bloke named Ian from the Austrian mountains.

Abseil - A drunk bloke trying to order another pint of Abbot's.



--

The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools, but the gentle touches of air and water working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time. Henry David Thoreau
IP: 90.246.97.25
davel

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Joined: 24/07/2007
Location: Gwynedd

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 31/08/2013 12:10:55
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Coffin level - there's a smoker in the party IP: 195.137.87.110
lozz

Joined: 03/08/2012
Location: Cornwall

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 02/09/2013 10:42:53
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Shrink to patient, "Now then what seems to be the problem"

Patient to shrink, " I think I'm a dog"

Shrink to patient, "And how long have you had these thoughts"

Patient to shrink, "Since I was a puppy"

Shrink to patient, "Don't worry I can sought that out for you"

Patient to shrink, "That would be good"

Shrink to patient, "Get on the couch and lie down"

Patient to shrink, "Can't"

Shrink to patient, "Why not?"

Patient to shrink, "I'll get told off"

Lozz.
IP: 81.151.11.71
Roy Morton

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Joined: 09/10/2007
Location: Redruth Cornwall

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 03/09/2013 01:36:56
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Paddy at Dublin Airport, is stopped by customs with 2 rucksacks filled to the brim with mobile phones.
"What on earth do you want with all these phones Paddy?"
"Well", says Paddy "when my musician mate heard I was going to Singapore, He asked me to bring back two saxophones 'cos they're cheap over there!"

--

'Bid me discourse, I will enchant thine ear'
IP: 81.155.154.233
royfellows

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Joined: 13/06/2007
Location: Great Wyrley near Walsall

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Vanoord's a Joke
Posted: 18/01/2014 12:52:50
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Steven Seagal cornered in a house and the bad guys are at the door.
Searches for materials for booby trap.
Finds a Chinese 12 XML torch, crams it with iffy Ultrafire Lithium batteries, turns it up to full power and sticks it in a cupboard.
Gets out just in time

Was it "Fire down below" or "Under fire" or something like that
Laugh

--

....she has SRT kit, but its not what we know as SRT kit.
IP: 2.98.234.186
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